Love Goes with Us.

Over the past (almost year!) of being in Mérida, I think I’ve been searching a bit….mostly without even knowing it! I was aware of searching for community, volunteer opportunities, and fun outings for the family. I was aware of searching for new restaurants, places with the best coffee, and date night locations - but in all of that, I was not aware of my search for the answer to “Who am I in Mexico?” Obviously, I’m the same person - I’m a wife, a Mom, a daughter - none of my labels have changed…but when your time during the day isn’t dictated by having to clock into a 9-5 and all of a sudden your son is in school from 8am - 1pm, five days a week, it leaves you with LOTS of time on your hands. Which is ironic, because in the States, I would always say “if I had the time….” I guess without ever finishing the sentence. And that’s where I found myself - lots of time and not a lot of interests to fill it.

So I felt ready for a change. A little revamp. And this time “away” has given me that ability!

When our son was born in 2021, I remember feeling a purpose that I didn’t have before. Becoming a Mom is truly life-changing and not something that anyone can prepare you for. My days in that first year revolved around when he was eating, when he was sleeping, and trying to remember to care for myself here and there.

As he grew up, I continued to be his primary caregiver but he didn’t need me quite as much. He learned to walk. He could speak his needs. He started to gain some safety skills. But in all of that, I know my main focus was still him. My mind wasn’t quite as overcome with the newness of being a Mom but every age came with new challenges and new things to figure out - I still didn’t feel like I had a lot of time.

We had babysitters here and there and a few that were consistent on certain days but I was working as a photographer and most of my “time off” was spent shooting sessions, editing, and keeping that business going.

Before we decided to move full-time to Mexico in November of 2024, my wife and I thought it would be good for our son to be in enrolled in school for a bit before jumping into a Spanish-speaking school without any understanding of what school actually was. He started preschool in the States three days a week, from 9am - noon. I finally had some time where he was cared for consistently by someone other than myself….but the time was spent working on packing up a house, selling and donating things, and getting the logistics together for a big move.

We spent the first few months in Mexico trying to feel settled. We found some routines and started to “know” things about living here. Even though our son was in school five days a week, from 8am - 1pm (which was a big change for all of us), the mental load didn’t really let up. We were trying to figure out if this was a place we could see ourselves long-term, which meant lots of exploring, planning, researching, and experiencing new things. All of this was very exciting, but I didn’t feel the relief that I expected from having this new found time on my hands.

Until I did.

I think it clicked about a month ago - 10 months into living here! I finally feel like I have a groove to life again. Things are familiar and not everything is foreign (although I’m still working on my Spanish!) The ability to exhale and know that we are staying here for a bit and that it’s ok to “get involved” was huge for me. I started volunteering in a children’s home. We reached out to our son’s friend’s parents for playdates….and I had time to think about what it was that I wanted to be doing.

We just got temporary residency, meaning we can stay up to a year or apply for longer, which is what I think was the main switch for me. No longer did I have to worry about how much time they would give me on a visa or have to think about what date I had to leave by - we could settle for a bit.

I don’t have a work visa yet though, so my photography business is on hold until I figure it all out - this gave me a reason to look elsewhere instead of jumping back into the familiar.

And that’s where I started thinking about “Love Goes with Us.”

Our family has always loved traveling but have also always had to look at a few different things than most other families. As a queer, multi-cultural family, we can’t consider “everywhere” to be a destination. We look at things like LGBTQ+ rights and laws, diversity in population, and safety for women. I know other groups look at this too (I don’t know many single women travelers to Afghanistan for instance) but with the way things are in the States right now, I know many more LGBTQ+ families looking for safe, welcoming, caring destinations.

With our travels, my experience with Fora Travel, and my love for photography and capturing every day life, starting an account to help families like ours find this seemed like a natural fit. So, here it is.

Love Goes with Us.

Because in our time away, we have found just that. Love is sometimes a bit further away than we would like - siblings, parents, friends - but it’s with us. It was hard to understand what that would be like when we were in the States. I was very used to impromptu trips to my parent’s house and day trips to catch a friend’s kids soccer game….those obviously don’t happen anymore. Now life is filled with new friendships, emails. daily Wordle chats, WhatsApp messages, and lots of FaceTimes. It isn’t the same but it does help to feel the love with us here.

I hope with this new Instagram account and website, that I can help show families what everyday life in Mexico is like, that the process of leaving is difficult but possible, and that there are safe places in the world for families like ours. We still don’t know if this is a permanent location for us but it is a “home” for now and that has made a world of difference for me! I’m excited to reflect on all that has happened and of course, everything that I haven’t even imagined yet!