Hablo español un poco..

When we moved to Mérida, we had ALOT of decisions to make…but one of the most important ones (I think at least), was where our son was going to be going to school. Before we moved, we did some research and got in touch with a school that looked really promising - they had an art and music approach to learning educational concepts and had great reviews…but they were fully Spanish-speaking. We set up a WhatsApp call with them and told them we only spoke a little bit of Spanish but that we would do our best to figure it out. When we answered the phone a few weeks later, I was sitting in my office at my computer and Aja was on the couch across from me. They said “buenos dias” and then proceeded to probably ask us how we were doing and say that they were happy to talk to us….and both of our eyes went wide and we almost started to laugh. I froze. Couldn’t even remember how to say hello. Aja stepped up. She said “buenos dias” and “so sorry, we are still learning Spanish” to the best that she could. The teacher slowed down a little bit but was still using words we didn’t know - it was a little bit of a wake up call that we were in over our heads. I still remember Aja sitting there with her eyes closed, holding her head, with a pained look of fierce concentration on her face - I can only imagine trying to take in any information that she could. The call lasted about 5 minutes because we quickly realized that we were only understanding about 4 words - we said we would google translate our questions and send them over. Everyone agreed that was best. ;) We hung up and looked at each other in stunned silence for a minute.

Our brains were overwhelmed. I felt very inadequate. And I realized we all had a lot to learn!

I started taking our son to Spanish lessons at our local library. They practiced colors, counting, and farm animals - all the things that three year olds were interested in learning. He was doing well and understanding and remembering a bit each week.

Aja jumped into DuoLingo. She had streaks going with that little owl and seemed proud of her progress. I, for some reason, thought that I could rely on my 3 years of Spanish in high school to get me through - convincing myself that it would be easier to understand when we there and in person. I will say it is better when you can see people’s facial expressions and gestures but my years of Spanish did not stay with me over the 29 years since I graduated. ;)

We arrived in Mérida and went to visit the school. We were welcomed, toured around, and our son loved it! The classmates he would be with were in a music class shaking maracas - the teacher waved him in, he went and sat down, and started shaking his little heart out. We realized quickly that play and actions were going to be helpful for him to transcend the language barrier (and there were a few teachers that had enough English to help our son our when needed). We pretty immediately knew this was the place for him and started to speak to the director about how to get him enrolled - with the help of google translate.

Prior to coming to Mexico, our son had only been in a preschool in the States for 6 weeks. He attended Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 9-12, and often came home pretty tired! In Mexico, three days was an option, but they recommended five days a week, with the school day running from 8am-1pm. I had taken care of our son as a stay-at-home Mom since birth. The only time he was really “away” from me and not at home with a sitter, was when he was at school. To think of him being somewhere else five days a week for five hours at a time seemed incredibly foreign - and too much. I let them know again, that we were thinking about three days. The director said “por qué/why?” and I didn’t really have a reason aside from “he’s never done it”. She said “cinco dias” with a bit of authority and we relented. We didn’t know how it would be unless we tried it and we figured if it was too much, we would know. Looking back, it was a BLESSING that she was so strong in her belief that more was better. He was immersed in Spanish, had a routine, and settled in.

But it was not all roses and butterflies. We all had our difficulties, but our son was the one living in a Spanish world where Aja and I still kind of dipped in and out. Looking back, there are a few phrases and words we should’ve taught him before attending school…but isn’t hindsight always 20/20?

The day that we toured the school and left him, he came out wearing different shorts that were about two sizes too big. We hadn’t left him any extra clothes because we weren’t planning on him staying. The teacher explained that he was saying something they couldn’t understand - turns out it was “potty” in his New England accent - “pahti” and they only knew the word toilet or bathroom. He had an accident and they had to change him into some leftover shorts…but they understood, he was ok, and no one was worse for the wear. We did quickly help him to understand he had to say “baño”. Looking back, it’s obvious. Of course we should’ve. But in the moment, with the newness of moving and figuring it all out, the obvious was not so obvious.

After a few weeks of transitioning into his school and starting to feel the routine of it all, our son started to put on the brakes. He didn’t really want to go anymore, he wanted to “go to his English school”, and he said he would rather stay home. We told him we understood…that this was all new and hard…and continued to emphasize the fun he was having in his classes. He was a bit agitated for maybe two weeks - and we finally found something that helped - thanks to him!

One afternoon, he was sitting at the kitchen counter and said “Mommy, what does sea mean?” I said “sea, like the ocean, the water? You know what that is.” He said “no, no, no, see.” I was still a little confused so I said “see, like with your eyes? Is that what you’re asking?”. He started to get obviously upset and frustrated. I remember saying “buddy, I want to help you but I’m not understanding. When do you hear it?” He looked me right in the eyes - in a desperate/I can’t believe you don’t know this type of way - and said with exasperation, “the teachers, the teachers say it all the time!!” I was having a hard time figuring out what he could mean and then it hit me and I said “oh, sí - sí means yes! If they are saying sí to you, it means yes, you can do something or you got it right.” He looked at me, smiled, and went back to eating his snack. The next morning - no more tears. I can only imagine how frustrating it must’ve been to be asking for something and having someone tell you “sí” without having any idea what they were saying to you!

He continued at school through the end of July and then started again this year in September. He has the same classmates, the same teachers, the same structure…and much more Spanish! He’s starting to use real phrases for things and is much more comfortable and speaking with confidence. Because he’s getting more fluent, I thought I would see if he felt like he was unable to say anything.

Sometimes after we eat, when we’re still sitting at the table, I’ll pull out my phone and look up words with Google Translate. He likes to press the little microphone to hear them in Spanish and then he hits the little “thumbs up” every time.

I asked him, “hey, now that you’ve been at school for a bit, is there anything that you want to know how to say?” He actually sat and thought for a minute. I could see the wheels turning in his head…and the first thing he came out with translated to “Tu T. Rex está pisoteando mi edificio!”….or, in English, “Your T.Rex is stomping on my building!” That was not one that I would’ve ever thought to suggest. The next one was just as original - and probably important on some days - “¿Puedes limpiarme el trasero por favor?”…”Can you wipe my bum please?” (…at least he said please?) ;)

I think the last two (important) phrases only really apply to kids 4 and under, but if you’re the parent of a young one, maybe consider adding them to their learning?

All this to say, learning Spanish has been a day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute thing. My brain does not seem to picking it up quickly. Aja has moved on to the Speak app and seems to be loving it and getting more confident also, and our son is learning SO MUCH more than we ever expected….and it’s really fun to watch!

I am picking up phrases and certainly understand people better but I seem to only be able to speak in the present tense, which isn’t really conducive to all conversations. ;) The biggest thing I find (that I haven’t seen many people talk about) is that I can have FULL conversations in my head when I’m not in the moment…but when someone asks me something, it’s like my brain disconnects from my mouth and I’m physically unable to form the words! It’s very frustrating - so I’m trying to remember to breathe and to think. To just say what I can - imperfectly and probably incorrectly - but I realize that if I don’t try, I won’t get any better.

Instead of “hablo español un poco”, I’ve been saying “estoy aprendiendo español” (“I’m learning Spanish”) and people tend to slow down a bit. I’m also remembering that we’re all still adjusting, we’re all adapting, and we all have our challenges. It’s been humbling and hilarious and harder than we expected, but watching our son thrive (and hearing him mix Spanish and English with confidence) makes every awkward exchange worth it. We’re all learning together, and that feels exactly right.

…and maybe someday, I’ll even learn how to say it all without Google Translate.